I am writing it here as a mental note to remind me before the next party.
I have never liked company parties; I have always found them somewhat hypocritical.
In recent years in the UK, I have tried to participate in any case, more than more to get to know my colleagues outside of work.
I still remember the first Christmas party with terror, but then going on some other was even fun.

Last Thursday I just didn’t want to go to that party.
But I went.
It was all a hello, how are you, fine, and you? End of speech.
I even sensed a vague hint of hostility.

Then someone asked me a question, and I got it. And I felt so sad for them.
I came home after about two hours.

Mental note: the Japanese are right, no more bonenkai for me.